Pictures of the Past Week

Our kids are slightly strange...well, maybe I should say, our kids' parents are slightly strange...

My Bomani is getting so big!

I love watching my toddlers play.

Annabelle

Ahhh...I got two prize squashes!

On the road!

Set up for wedding.

The groom! Happens to be my dad.

Setting up the sound system.

Bridal table was so lovely!

Very helpful as always.

Can you tell who was taking this picture? :) I like him.

On one of my rounds to see what my kids were getting into, I found that they were "getting into" boxes. :)

Folding programs.

Chilling with dad in an empty room before the ceremony.

My little Hazel was veery tired...

Grandpas were at our table!

This morning...Hazel peeking at Craig.

So glad to have my happy Hazel back!

I'm teaching Bomani to make the eggs. That way I can get up to a breakfast all ready! Hhhh.

The girls in their out-door get-up. Bomani wore these at night in the village...when it was very cold in our house!

Slight visibility problem? :)

Good Morning!

Ahhhhh...we are home. HOME! Last week was...a week like no other. Monday I packed all day. Did last minute sewing. Organized things to fit into the car like a puzzle. (The trunk wasn't full—it's the inside that needs hard core organization to survive traveling for days on end.) We planned to leave Tuesday morning around 3:00. Well, Hazel decided she was hungry...I had not given them their bedtime snack. I was so tired and knew we'd be up at 3:00! So she kept waking up and finally I told Craig, “Let's just leave!” So we did. Around 2:35 am. We drove all day arriving at Colliers in the evening. After a delicious supper we had lots of good conversation in which they helped us with our life's issues and questions. :)

The next morning we were out of there by 7:00 am. And...we traveled all day, arriving at dads that evening around 8:00. The kids were awesome. Seriously, if they were not good travelers I would have pulled my hair out. Because it's bad enough for adults to drive that far, and then every half hour or less, I had to turn around and give them something. :) Food. Toys. Blanket. Drink of water. Except, of course, the stretches where they slept. So we are so grateful they didn't scream and yell a lot! Just a bit. :)

Thursday was set-up for the wedding. The wedding was to take place in Elkton, 30-40 minutes from dad's house. Over a mountain with lots of curvy roads. That was a big day. Sam's Club's awesome plates tricked us. It said “40 plates” on the package but had 20 large and 20 small, so we only had half enough plates! So we waited and were there most of the day. It was a fun day, but with three toddlers, a hair difficult.

Friday we kids decided to go Goodwill shopping, as we have found some serious bargains in the east. (Think rich people giving away nearly new items.) Well, it didn't all go smoothly or as planned, but so it goes at times. :) From there we went to the rehearsal at 4:00. It was fun!

I was very tired by that evening. I had actually been tired most of the week, but by Saturday, I was exhausted. The kind that doesn't go away with a good night where all the kids sleep well. (They did great while we were there—so grateful!) I had also been fighting a cold all week. I took my tonic bravely and just kept it at bay, but it still threatened.

Saturday was a lovely day. We left on time, :) going with Shanes in the large van they were driving. We stuck the twins in the very back, and heard very little from them. But upon arrival, Craig found that Hazel poor dear, must have had some motion sickness, because she had vomited all over herself! I mean, it covered her coat, over her tights (I hadn't put their dresses on yet—praise the Lord!) and even on the bottom of her foot. Goodie. We were supposed to be taking pictures. Instead, I was franticly cleaning her and wondering what to do with her wet tights! Rosa to the rescue. We took our pictures, then she took Hazel's clothes and washed them by hand. There was a dryer at the rehearsal building, and she had the clothes dried just before we were to be ushered in. :) In the meantime, I was at the guest register and Craig had the kids in a back room, romping about before the ceremony began.

We were ushered up to the very front row, just behind and to the side of the bridal party. And our kids were little terrors. The crowning point was when Bomani threw a tiny stuffed bear up even with the bridal party. The servers, sitting to our right, thought it was hysterical. Then he wanted to get it, so I told him to go get it, so he hunched down on the floor on his tummy, and I stopped him. I was afraid we would all burst out laughing if he inched up there. :) Even one of the pastors facing us on the podium was grinning. The girls were wild, so we all ended up in the back, and Craig took the kids and I watched the ceremony from the back. It was a lovely service. The lead pastor had such a gentle, honest way of opening this unusual wedding ceremony and talking about mom and dad's relationship, and now dad and Mary's. The pastor who opened with prayer prayed for each of us kids by name. It was so good.

Then to the reception! There was a pack n play upstairs, and I put Daisy in, but Hazel refused. She was really fussy over this trip. She is getting her molars in, but I also think she's more sensitive to strange situations and being away from home. Bomani was in a very...weird mood. He didn't want to sit with us, and wouldn't stay with us. He just wanted to wander around the reception hall by himself! Half the time, we let him go. The other half I panicked and tried finding him. :) It was a lovely reception. Very beautiful and delicious food. Most of the people who spoke at open mic either cried themselves, or made others cry. It was a strange wedding, so wonderful and beautiful, and so sad at the same time. Quite a number of mom's siblings came, which meant so very much to us. Nearly all of dad's were there as well. We kids sang “Heaven's Gonna Shine” for mom. Then the guys later sang “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” for fun. That kind of relaxed the atmosphere and showed people that it's not all intense emotions...it's fun too. I think you can find it on youtube. My little bros starred. :)

We stayed around and talked with relatives and friends for quite a long time. Then Dad and Mary left and it was like, why stay around? So we went home.

One of my favorite moments at the reception was when I carried Hazel out—she was finally asleep. I took her up to the pack n play and Daisy was awake, so I traded them. As I was walking through the people, a lady told me, “I'm sorry she woke up!” I stood there, confused for a moment, then said, “This is the other one!” :)

Sunday was a good day. There was a dinner at church then three of my friends came to our house and we caught up and chatted. I made some supper for the crew then, and in the evening Rosemary came over and we did the intro on our catching up. :)

And Monday we headed back home. We drove through the night. At 2:00 when I took the wheel, I drank so much coffee and tea that I didn't sleep well for the rest of the day! Last night (Monday night) I was so tired I could hardly walk. And so now the recovery begins. :)

Craig and I unpacked, put things away, and did laundry yesterday after we got back. So today I am doing nothing. Oh yes—I need to go to town this afternoon, but that's relaxing. :) (In comparison to normal life.)

So there is the account. Looking back, I see that I should have rested more and kept the kids at the house more on Thursday and Friday. Saturday was a good day—but I was exhausted and the kids were stressed. Three days in a row of driving over the mountain and getting little naps here and there took their toll. It was a good trip! But I am sooooo happy to be home!

And how am I doing with the emotions and all? I don't know. I missed mom. I thought about her so much. She seemed so close by. Yet, I am so excited about having Mary in our family. It's so good. I think I'm just tired. Inside and out. So don't ask how I'm doing for another month yet. :)

And I was so happy to get home to my lacto-fermented vegetables. :)) I missed them! Daisy and Hazel like the cucumbers...and I'm so happy to be able to make hard core healthy food again. :) We took all our food for the trip out, but the way back was fast food and that sort. Back in windy Kansas...

I better run.

Lata.

10-7

It is the most glorious morning ever. I know, I start all my blog posts the same way, but I love mornings! At least some of them. The mornings I don't love, I don't blog. :)

Last night we had a hard frost. It was close to 20 degrees this morning. The sun is now spreading across the field west of us, and the misty fog is lifting. It is glorious.

It's Sunday morning. I woke up at about 5:40 and fed the girls milk at 6:10 or so, to try and keep them sleeping longer. (So that they are sweeter at church:) After that—you guessed it—I couldn't sleep! It is very annoying. Whenever there is something big happening in my life, I have a hard time sleeping if I wake up early! :( Anyway, I finally said, “Get up.” So I got up and came down and made a large mug of perfect, lemongrass chai. Mmmmm. There is lemongrass chai, and there is perfect lemongrass chai. This morning, I hit the latter. Yesterday we brought my lemongrass plant inside. We chopped it in half and I'm keeping half in here as a houseplant and Dorcas is taking the other half. :)

I am so excited! I have something awesome to share with you! Last winter I got so weary of catching every cold and flu that came along. We are adjusting to these virus' and bugs, but our systems were not prepared. Or maybe we're just lame. :) At any rate, I have found the answer. My friend Karen, down the road, gave me some Flu Buster Tonic. It is not for the fainthearted, but it will keep you from getting sick—take my word for it. If you feel just the first hint of a cold or flu coming, take it—up to every several hours, a spoonful in some water, and I can almost promise you—you will not get sick. To some people, this cure will be worse than the illness. Take your pick. :) Craig and I use it. It works for us.

And! It is so easy to make! I am so excited about making my own instead of begging it off of Karen. :) She's a dear. :)

Chop equal amounts of:

--raw onion

--raw jalapenos

--raw garlic

--raw horseradish

--raw ginger root

Fill a quart jar to the brim with these lovely items. Pour in raw apple cider vinegar—fill up to the neck. Braggs from GBFS is an excellent option. Non pasteurized is best. Cap it and shake it every day. Let it set for 2-4 weeks, then strain through a cloth and keep in a dark bottle or in the refrigerator. This is hot! If you don't want it as hot, use less jalapenos.

Enjoy. :)

10-9

Hi! We are in IN at Collier and Nettie's house. They were our parents while we were in Thailand. So we decided to visit them on our way to VA for dad's wedding! We left this morning at 2:35am. We were going to leave at 3:00, but Hazel kept waking up and yelling, and finally, knowing I hadn't given the girls their bedtime snack, I got up and fed her. Then since we were awake and I wasn't sleeping well anyway, we left. I drove until nearly 5:00. Then Craig took over and I slept a couple hours. The kids did well! They had some grumpy times, but nothing extensive. We are so grateful. And! After a lovely evening here at Colliers, and a night on a real bed, instead of in the car driving, we drive all day tomorrow to reach our destination. Prayers are welcome. :)

Lata...

So many kids...

My Daisy is growing up.

Daisy takes life very seriously.

It's good they enjoyed that weather, because it is suddenly cold! Did we miss fall? The other day Daisy wanted to go out so badly, I said "okay--go see what it's like!" The problem was, she was fine with freezing out there...

Sneak preview of their dresses for dad's wedding. Claire made them...and they are sooo cute!

Daisy was in the mood!

Hazel was not.

So I took her outside...

Buzz and Daisy

Then it went better for Hazel!

The other day Craig or I must have said the word "beep" or something similar, because suddenly both girls were beeping their noses!

I have developed a real taste for lacto-fermented cucumbers...mmmmm...

My helper.

My other helpers.

10-2-2012

It is a gorgeous morning. In the 40s! I must admit to shivering at the thought of the cold mornings in the village during dry season. Here at least our house is warm! We started our solar floor heat a week or so ago, turning it off on the hottest afternoons because it would nearly drive me out of the house. The girls are up in their tiny room talking away. They are supposed to sleep until 10:00. :) It's 8:30. Bomani is at the table dipping honey toast into chai. He is a boy after his mom's own heart. :)

I still try to coordinate the kids' naps so that they all sleep at once in the afternoon! That way I get a nap. It keeps my sanity intact, especially if the girls were up during the night, which they still insist on doing every now and then. But you simply cannot schedule your kids perfectly. They are people—three different people! And...they all sleep on one twin size foam mattress on the floor. So there is a lot of hanging out that happens and a lot of waking each other. :) Sometimes I wish I were normal and would put each toddler into his or her own bed. But our house is too small for three cribs or beds. And they have so very much fun together!

Last week we went yard saling in Wichita. It was not amazing, but I found a lot of what I needed. I still need warm sleepwear for the girls for the winter. I hadn't been preparing for winter, because I thought we would be in Thailand by then. And though it gets coolish in Chiang Mai, you don't need your flannel nightwear.

Bomani just came over here, wanting me to clean off his hand. It was crumby from his toast. He is more picky about being clean than my girls will ever be. :) I asked him if he wants to sit beside me on my chair. He said “No! Tea.” :) He is talking more and more...up to three words in a phrase. It is so fun. And the girls are saying one or two words. “Hi” was one of their first words. So far, about their only word. Daisy says “numnumnumnum” when she eats. And Hazel has said “ba” for a ball.

I don't even know what to write about the girls. I think I'm in sort of a “too close to heaven” time of their lives. It is sooo fun. They are healthy, eat well, play and play and play, toddle all over, climb onto everything, cuddle with their white blankets, tumble over Bomani, play outside for long stretches, and just generally are too fun! Last evening, for instance, the three kids were giving each other kisses...on the lips. I know, disturbing. But that's what they see... :) It's getting more and more like having triplets. They play and play together. Bomani misses them when they nap and gets so bored. The other day the three were downstairs and I was upstairs and I heard Hazel crying, so I peeked around the corner. There I witnessed Daisy pounding Hazel on the head with something, and Bomani bent over and said, “Daisy, ouch ouch.”...very seriously. Then he helped Hazel get out of Daisy's way. :) It was one of those moments...

I haven't been writing much on my blog. Pictures are safer right now. It's been a hard year. One of my friends gave me a book called Tear Soup. It's about grief, a story written in child's language...think Max Lucado style. I don't think I've realized what all was grief for me this year. I know I went through a really cynical time, and it came out on my blog. I've been afraid to write a lot recently. Not because things are so bad, I just don't know what to write.

I want to be graceful. Full of grace. I don't want to yell at people for the things they say or don't say. I know I did not used to know what to say to grieving people. Now I know. Say very little. Or nothing.

In Sunday School on Sunday, I asked for prayer for our little family as we travel east for dad's wedding next week. I felt a lot of love and a lot of care from the class. It blessed me so much! The last time we had a big gathering it was for mom's funeral. Many of the same people will be at the wedding. It's a lot to have happen in one year's time, but it is how God has it planned, and it's good.

It also appears that we probably won't be returning to Thailand, except to go and get our stuff and say good-bye and close down. Next to my mother's death, that has been the most difficult part of our last year and a half here. But once again, we trust God's plan and His timeline. We, along with the board here, decided that Pang Klang is not the place for us to plant a church. The church at Khun Khong is just too close and we don't want to compete. Now we (Craig and I) are working on what God wants us to do in the meantime. How does He want us to best prepare and work while in America? We still dream of being self supporting. We realize, however, that this is a huge dream, and life is not always as perfect and ideal as we desire it to be. So we're not banking on that possibility. But Craig is studying things out...

Kids are awake...

10-4

Hi! Resuming blog post...

Now that it has turned chilly here, I keep thinking of Pang Klang. I don't think I will ever forget what it was like to wake up and your nose is below 40 degrees. To have a warm house...I will never take it for granted again. :)

A few highlights of the last few days...

Hazel sitting in her high chair picking blueberries out of the blueberry cake.

Driving in the lane after taking Craig to work to see that Daisy somehow got outside and was waving both hands to me.

Bomani, wanting to get off my lap and continue playing, during a serious talking to, quickly saying “okay mom”. (He has no idea what that means, but at least it makes me feel better.:)

Hazel's toothy grin. (If any of my kids will flirt in the future, it will be her.)

Daisy coming up to me and telling me something very seriously. (I only wish I could understand!)

Seriously, they are the darlingest kids ever. I love them so much! And then reality strikes. Ow. After I wrote what I did above, the other day, I had one of the worst days in history. Bomani is really naughty these days. I don't know what I'm doing! I am so inexperienced in this training of kids thing. I know Mr and Mrs Pearl would have a few things to tell me, but I am not by nature a General. (Some people might refute that.) Mostly, I have three toddlers. When I am changing a poopy diaper, which is often when all three have at least two every day, and Bomani takes that opportunity to disobey, be naughty, kick a sister just because he thinks it's so fun to watch them plop, I simply cannot get up and take care of it immediately! And when I'm washing dishes and desperately need to get lunch made and he is being bad, instead of sitting down and spending time with him, I scream. (Inside) Please do pray for me in this stage of my life! At the end of some days, I am so weary of training and getting upset and saying the wrong things, yelling at him when he ignores me, and then feeling so remorseful...I'm ready to give up as a mom.

But I get up the next morning-- and guess what? I am a mom.

10-5-2012

Tomorrow is Nomes' wedding. We were planning to go, but it is one of the busiest times of the year at the seed farm, and Craig decided not to ask off. It was a fairly hard decision. I find myself feeling quite a bit of sadness at not being at my friend's wedding. Nomes is one of my best friends from Thailand. I watched her walk the very tough road of dating while being on the other side of the world from the one she loves. Of waiting long years. Chiang Mai will not be the same without Nomes. She was just always there. I knew, no matter what, that I could talk with Nomes when we went to the city. I knew there would always be a kindred spirit there. (There are other kindred spirits there as well! You know who you are... :)

And then, as I am honest with my inmost heart, I know I am also grieving. I am grieving the loss of Thailand. It comes out in a hundred ways. Yesterday at the mall, I kept walking past people from other nationalities. I would hear them speaking Spanish, or whatever their language was, and with a pang, I realized that I am in America, and not headed back. Simply seeing people from other lands and hearing them speak was like a fresh, cool cup of water. I am – forever, a third culture kid. It's nice and fun to be in America. It's gentle on the system. But it's incredibly hard. It's not who I am. It is – much harder than not being in America.

For the past 1 ½ years, I have held hope that we are returning. We are not returning except to say good-bye. The result? Grief. And I know that if I'm willing to walk through that, I will be much healthier in the long run. But honestly, I am tired of grief. Ever since my dad sent the email, which we received in the village, that mom has extensive cancer, I have been feeling grief.

Don't pity me or feel sorry for me – please. I know my blessings. I know my God. I know my life is no harder than anyone else's. I'm just writing. Just letting my friends out there know what's going on...

I know that we didn't have time to say good-bye to Thailand in our hearts. We didn't know we were leaving until a few days before we left. We didn't have that advance notice of a year. About now is actually when we start doing the good-bye in our hearts. We might not be done with the process until the day comes when God says “I want you to go back to Thailand to live again...” Because I'm not sure God wants us to be done. What has He planted in our hearts? I didn't even like Thailand when we first went over! It was so different from Africa, which was where I had lived. So different even from Central America, which I also enjoyed on my visits. This was Asia—a totally different ball park. After a while, I started realizing that this place was creeping into my heart. It's there. I miss the Thai people and culture deeply. I highly value so much of what they have.

I don't know what God has planned. I don't know if He is taking us back there someday. I do know what He has placed in Craig and my heart, and I'm going to trust Him...

In the meantime, I would do anything to eat at a little outdoor cafe, then wai in thanks for the delicious meal...hop on the motorbike behind my husband, and navigate the traffic, inhale the wild smells, and smile at the wonderful people...

...wake up in the crisp morning, walk outside our house, and look down over the gorgeous valley, full of mist...grin at the neighbor lady, smell Ama's garlic and fish for breakfast...and wonder if my laundry will dry by next week...

...visit our friends in the village, up by uncle shaman’s house...sit on their rice mat and exchange news and watch our kids play together...

...spend Sunday lunch at the Khun Khong pastor's house...rice with delectable greens and bits of pork with fat...ask him lots of questions about the Lisu and their history...enjoy the friendship of his wife...

...sit in IGo Chapel and spend a whole hour in worship...

...talk with my friend, Renita...

...stay at Arlins...talk about babies with Kayla...

...spend Thanksgiving with Drus...

I'm going to go make lacto-fermented cucumbers. Good-bye.